My Tech How-To

The bow of the ship was filled to the brim by propane tanks, gigantic bags of corn (appropriately), and miscellaneous goods, all covered by a sooty black tarp. I chose to escape the excrement, and stood in the bow between a couple of propane tanks and a very seaworthy chicken As the ship moved out into the open ocean, I moved the chicken to another location, and then lay down under the shade of the sooty tarp on top of another pair of propane tanks. Cradled between tall stacks of the metal tanks on either side of me, with my lower body sticking out from underneath the tarp, I found myself in the lap of luxury for the four-hour ride.

The luxurious rest ended abruptly when we hit the open sea. At each dip, the front of the ship would plow into the oncoming swell, sending what were at first clouds of spray, but soon became entire waves, over the bow and across the giant tarp that shielded me. Cradled between the two piles of propane cannisters, my private nook was a perfectly designed funnel, channeling the water that sprayed across the tarp down to its lowest point, a bottlecap-sized hole situated directly over my. Still, it was drier than getting out from underneath the tarp, as it had also begun to rain steadily. I repositioned the tarp so the leaking water would only graze me, got myself covered with soot and grease in the process, rolled over, and managed to fall asleep for a short while.